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Climate Change Politician: “Why Aren’t We All Screaming?”

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Mike Beitiks

“We are all going to die” This is the bold, and somewhat refreshing platform for U.S senate hopeful Mike Beitiks.

He is running for the senate on a single platform – to create and support any bill that acts on climate change. That will be his only focus.

“We’re fighting a war against CO2 with sharpened sticks when we should be breaking out the nuclear warheads.” Beitiks states.

So how is he going to achieve this? Have a look at some of Beitiks to-do list:

  Take all of the rich people’s money, put it toward fighting climate change. Then, take all of the poor people’s money, put that toward fighting climate change. Basically, nobody gets money anymore until no more climate change.

  Throw tons of said money at carbon extraction technology. I just read about this stuff, but it’s like motorized trees on steroids that suck carbon out of the atmosphere. Talk about supporting clean energy all you want, but you gotta wipe up the spill before you refill the glass with renewables.

  That being said, I will also support clean energy. Exclusively.

  Filibuster all legislation from any party that does not address climate change, ideally shutting down the government until we have a plan in place.

Some of his ideas are frankly, ridiculous, but hopefully the media attention Beitiks is getting may trickle into other candidates platforms.

“Nobody else is doing anything, and I feel obligated to offer myself as a candidate who will do something – anything – to help us avert turning our world into a low-budget remake of Waterworld. Or The Postman.”

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